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Parent's Guide to
Supporting Without Hovering

How to help your teen thrive without helicoptering

The Balance Framework

Parents want to help, but over-involvement can cause tension and hinder growth. Use this quick framework to find the sweet spot between support and independence, empowering your teen to own their college journey while knowing you're there when needed.

✅ Supportive Parenting (Coach Mode)	❌ Helicoptering (Player Mode)
Asking: "Do you want my help brainstorming?"	Rewriting their essay
Teaching them to use a planner	Filling out their planner
Letting them try and fail safely	Preventing every mistake
Checking in weekly	Checking in daily
Offering resources when asked	Doing the research for them
Celebrating their progress	Taking credit for their success

👉 "Be the coach, not the player. Support without taking over."

Scripts & Boundaries

What to Say Instead of Stepping In

When they're stressed:

"Do you want me to help you make a plan, or just listen right now?"

When you're worried about their choices:

"I trust you'll figure this out. Want me to share what I've seen other students do?"

When you need to step back:

"I'll be nearby if you hit a wall — I know you can handle this first pass."

Healthy Boundaries Checklist

🚫 I won't email teachers/counselors for you.

✅ I will review a draft email if you ask.

🚫 I won't hover over every assignment.

✅ I will help break big tasks into smaller steps (if you want).

🚫 I won't choose your colleges for you.

✅ I will visit campuses with you and share observations.

💡 Ready to Step Back with Confidence?

Want ready-made timelines and task lists that let you support without hovering?